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心痛的花費(At the Cost of Pain)
i leaned against a poplar tree and gazed towards the descending sun. it was no longer overbearing with its blinding glare but looked as lovely as a big orange. it had cast a golden glow over everything and gave the world a transient gilded dignity and a poetry that almost moved me to tears. "hello, beautiful world!" a voice rose from the depth of my heart. i was so grateful to be able to see all these brilliant things which i had neglected for so long.
really, i was not so contented with life before i had that eye surgery. it hurt terribly. but bodily pain is nothing compared with the pain of a sinking and depressed heart as i had to live in complete darkness for two weeks. from the first minute i was shut up in that intangible, vast and some what sinister darkness, i became aware of the priceless gift i had been bestowed - my eyesight. how i would long to see! i sat on the lawn, my fingers lingered on the supple leaves, my heart felt the subtle elasticity of the earth. green, green... the color of life is wonderful!
cheerful little birds jumped about me, chirping. they irritated me by their teasing chattering. i felt as helpless as a trapped beast. the darkness was immense, thick, suffocating. i turned to my memory for help and tried to recollect some old fragments of pictures stored in my mind. but my mind was a blur. i understood for the first time that actually i had been blind since long ago. day after day i bustled on proudly wearing a pair of ornaments and saw nothing. the beauty, the loveliness had escaped me long ago. it was in darkness that i first saw myself. how pitiably blind i had always been! the awareness wrenched my heart with a sharp twinge.
the day i got rid of the bandages on my eyes was unforgettably splendid. i opened my eyes timidly, amazed by the glorious world bathed in the sun. at that time i saw, i saw rippling grass with dripping greenness, i saw little sparrows hopping here and there, bobbing their heads up and down, i saw the vast sky peacefully looking down at me with that purity and dignity which refined my soul. i was so grateful that my eyes were blurred with tears. being blind once had forced me to discover the blindness in my soul; at the cost of pain i tasted again the sweetness of life. what a blessing!
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